I-it's more the waiting thing! More than anything. I can't make myself get better any faster, but it's driving me crazy not to be able to just...go. See for myself. [and let HIM be the one doing stupid imagined detours into trouble, not Grey!]
Realistically, you'd be better off doing things at your own pace. It's faster than I can be. But that-- [he grimaces. word salad. he's not very good at expressing complicated feelings - it's complicated! especially in the moment, and especially when being stared down.] I don't know. I've already let a lot of people down, so it's better to not get frustrated and make things worse, but that doesn't feel great. But that doesn't matter either--
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I-it's more the waiting thing! More than anything. I can't make myself get better any faster, but it's driving me crazy not to be able to just...go. See for myself. [and let HIM be the one doing stupid imagined detours into trouble, not Grey!]
Realistically, you'd be better off doing things at your own pace. It's faster than I can be. But that-- [he grimaces. word salad. he's not very good at expressing complicated feelings - it's complicated! especially in the moment, and especially when being stared down.] I don't know. I've already let a lot of people down, so it's better to not get frustrated and make things worse, but that doesn't feel great. But that doesn't matter either--