I don't--want t-- ['want' and 'need' are different things, and clearly signaling for different outputs in the moment: he doesn't want to let go, but he surely needs to. no matter how much progress he may have made away from the lab, the effects coupled with all the work to both move past it and drag it around with him for the sake of justice is exhausting.
so he chokes on the effort. like he chokes every time overwhelm gets at him in his waking moments (maybe it's also his fault for not having a nightmare the last time he slept to vent some of this off? much to consider). he bites off the last attempt at a syllable and hides his face against Grey, trembling out of grief instead of the cold, shame washing over him as tears eke out.]
no subject
so he chokes on the effort. like he chokes every time overwhelm gets at him in his waking moments (maybe it's also his fault for not having a nightmare the last time he slept to vent some of this off? much to consider). he bites off the last attempt at a syllable and hides his face against Grey, trembling out of grief instead of the cold, shame washing over him as tears eke out.]