doggone

[repeatedprayer]

[In the time following his departure from Tabito and Manabu's company, the alias "Grey" has wound up sticking.

Not that everyone calls him that, he's used a few other aliases since then, but it's what he's wound up thinking of himself as. If Grey had taken the time to think about it a bit more he might have picked something with a little less connection to Rezo's name, but it's still leagues better than thinking of himself as "Rez- wait, no, just a copy." And maybe that's why he's felt significantly calmer since he left Sairaag.

By his own standards, Grey has been laudably well-behaved; sure, he's been mostly doing under-the-table psychic work, often on behalf of criminals, but! He's been trying to keep a low profile so it's usually things like clairvoyant spying rather than anything violent, and he's been making a point of not doing anything that directly impacts the galaxy railways.

It would be extremely awkward if Manabu Yuuki had to try and arrest him, after all.

He's found himself frequently thinking about Manabu, much to his annoyance. He has no serious expectations of ever seeing Manabu again, so it's simply a waste of mental bandwidth to find himself wondering what Manabu is doing right now or where he is, or to reminisince over their incredibly brief acquaintanceship. Grey can only suppose that because Manabu was the first reasonably normal person he got to know after leaving Sairaag that Manabu is going to stick out in his mind for a while.

And it's probably because of the real estate that Manabu is hogging in Grey's mind that he's been very aware of every mention of the SDF that crosses his path. He hasn't exactly been tracking the SDF's activities deliberately, but he does pay attention to the news and the SDF frequently winds up in there, even if Manabu's name in particular isn't normally dropped.

Until the day it does.

SDF Officer Taken Hostage By Pirates]

* * *

[It's taken several weeks of investigating, but Grey has been able to track down The Huntress's client, a Dr. Parish and associates. It must be a small galaxy, because Dr. Parish is someone Grey knows. Sort of.

Rather, Dr. Parish was a colleague of Rezo's who collaborated with the man on chimera research (and other unsavory things) in the past. Not only that, the man was an ardent admirer of Rezo's superior psychic prowess, and desperate to improve his own meager abilities.

He'd had quite a shock when Grey approached him in town, but after the initial surprise it had been sickeningly easy to convince Dr. Parish that he was the real Rezo. Grey can only surmise that the man wants to believe too badly to let himself be properly suspicious. It had only taken a day for Grey to be invited to tour Parish's laboratory.

The lab's located on the grounds of a former Marquess's estate, a ways out of town and secluded by trees, a high wall, and a long drive. Grey's done a little recon before, but actually being here is different, especially since he has to navigate by cane at the moment. Grey is doing his best to politely nod and smile as Parish guides him from room to room, explaining their work and occasionally handing him things to examine himself.

But evidently Parish realizes that "Rezo" isn't entirely interested, because he stops partway through an explanation of some stem cell experiments he and a few others have been working on to say "Of course, the really interesting specimens are kept in the basement floor."

Grey already knows this. He hopes his expression seems the right sort of eager.]

Interesting?

["Something along the lines of what we did in the past. Would you like to see them?"]

Nothing would please me more.

[Grey can practically hear Parish's delighted grin. To soothe the surge of irritation, Grey reminds himself that he's going to kill this man before the end of the day and allows Parish to guide him out into the hall and to the basement entrance at the back of the building.]

Comments

[siriusly]

You told me to forget it. [the kiss.

he starts to shift, to lay on his back (it's a bit of a careful process, thanks to the stupid tail).]

You...can put it aside already?

[repeatedprayer]

[Grey's expression twists with pain as he realizes what Manabu means. Is Manabu bringing this up in order to torture him?]

I have to try, don't I? It isn't something I can just... [Do again. Whenever and wherever he wants. Not without hurting the both of them, anyway.

Even if they're already both hurting.]

[siriusly]

[Manabu turns his head to catch some of the contours of that expression in the dark, and his stomach knots.]

It...was that bad?

[repeatedprayer]

Bad?

[That question trips him up, throwing an element of incredulity into Grey's angst.]

Is that- Are you really concerned that you did a bad job at- [God this is awkward. And he feels like a stupid child for hesitating to say it.] -at kissing?

[siriusly]

Well! That! [not really! but now he can be!!!] I, I mean! [his hands gesture in the dark futilely.] I, I don't know much of anything about it, I, I only sort of remember when we were--y-you know... [he clears his throat; this is the most energized he's been since showertime.]

Y-you immediately said it was a mistake! So I must've missed something?

[repeatedprayer]

[Grey does not, in fact, know, so he just has a ??? moment and assumes Manabu only sort of remembers the kiss earlier. And feels an idiotic sting of offence at that because he has been tying himself in knots over it, even though he's also the one who said they should forget about it. That it was a mistake.]

Obviously! [Grey sits up, digging agitated fingers into the sheets with one hand and gesturing at himself with the other.] Manabu, think about it- surely you can name several reasons why someone like me shouldn't kiss you.

[Even apart from Grey being a copy...]

It was wrong of me. You're dealing with enough as it is. But I just- You were there and I wanted you, and I...

[Grey clamps his mouth shut, his face, his entire body, heating up with the confusing mixture of intense emotions.]

[siriusly]

[Manabu sits up as well, having to shift to his side to avoid sitting on his tail, gawking owlishly at Grey. several reasons? there must be, but Manabu can't even bring up exploded people with his mind to memory in the moment.]

I'm dealing with it with you! I-! [logic empty emotions only.] I want that! I want-- [wait huh. he...wanted him? who wants what now? what's want.]

I...I wanted that...too...

[repeatedprayer]

Oh...

[It's the sweetest shock he could possibly experience, for Manabu to say he wanted Grey to kiss him. A sharp pang stabs Grey's chest, and he clutches his shirt.]

Oh, Manabu... You shouldn't want someone like me, you can't...

[You can't possibly mean that. Who could? Who would want a facsimile of another person over a real one?]

[siriusly]

What do you mean? [he balks a little, as he always does when told he can’t do something.] So what! I still feel what I feel!

[repeatedprayer]

[Grey shakes his head, unable to explain it if Manabu doesn't already understand it, hasn't intuited yet that there's something deeply wrong with him.

So what!

...]

What you feel... Did you really want me to kiss you?

[siriusly]

W-well… [backing down a little out of self-consciousness:] I don’t actually know if I was…exactly thinking that, since I don’t really…er… [rebounding:] What I’m saying is I didn’t hate it!

[beat.

awkwardly:] That’s… That is… It’s…really hard to forget…something like that…

[repeatedprayer]

I... see.

[Grey sees nothing. Manabu didn't hate it? But didn't want it either?

The one thing he does understand and fully agree with is that it's really hard to forget about it. And he may as well admit as much, considering how much of himself he's already bared.]

I can't forget about it either.

[siriusly]

Aa-! Really?! [there’s a couple soft thumps of his tail at that - vindication! hope!]

So I’m not crazy! I knew it! [sure is relieved for a guy who “knew it”]

You’re too smart to just do something you don’t like without good reason, so—so there was a good reason! Er, well, if you liked it, maybe there wasn’t a good reason, but that still means you liked—- [here’s where steam should fizz out his ears.] Liked…to…

[repeatedprayer]

...Right. I'm almost surprised you didn't realize when I did. That.

[Grey's caught between laughter and abject embarrassment of his own. But despite the utter shamefulness of his own desire being revealed, he's relieved by Manabu's relief. At least Manabu isn't acutely miserable anymore.

Or disgusted, at least.]

I don't normally do this sort of thing.

[In case Manabu thinks Grey is some sort of libertine who just goes around kissing every hapless young man who crosses his path.]

[siriusly]

Me neither, obviously! [who has time for kissing when you have a job????

he sits upright, peering down over at him - what he can see, anyway.]

So—- So you’re not going to be miserable about doing that again, are you? Like it’s a mistake?

[repeatedprayer]

[Murmured:]

You're so honest.

[Wouldn't most people have too much pride to include the 'obviously' part...?

Grey doesn't have much room to dwell on Manabu's honesty and the adorableness thereof however, before the next thing that Manabu says causes him to short circuit.

...doing that again...]

Hah? Again?

[Grey's never really wondered what it would feel like to have his ears burst into flames, but right now he has a pretty good idea.]

I- Do you want that?

[siriusly]

Well, yeah! [gosh, why else would he ask! don’t make him write a dissertation on it, jerk!!!]

Otherwise, it’s all I’m gonna think about and not sleep!

[repeatedprayer]

[Grey's mouth twitches.]

Oh, I see. You need a goodnight kiss in order to sleep.

[And hell he knows this is still a bad idea- he's still a copy etc. -but damn if he can resist when Manabu's asking him so directly and amusingly.

Still, his motions are cautious when he reaches for Manabu, setting a hand against the side of Manabu's face and scooching closer. He can feel the warmth radiating from Manabu's body...

Grey leans forward and finally gives Manabu another kiss. Like the last one it's a little clumsy, he's not entirely sure how much pressure to give or what to do with his hands... But at least if Manabu's as inexperienced as he then Grey maybe will be forgiven for that.]

[siriusly]

[there’s a little pout noise at that remark - way to make it sound totally childish and lame!

yet even so, he’s compliant, leaning forward as guided and a bit stilted, not completely able to see where he’s aiming in the dark. again, his tail starts thumping on the mattress, but he can’t hear it over his own heartbeat.

impulse or nerves make him press a second and third time, and each one elicits the same jolt. it’s like this every time…?! how do people function.]

[repeatedprayer]

[His lips press against and brush over Manabu's, experimentally trying different positions, lingering here and there. His hand slides back behind Manabu's head to tangle in his hair, then down to skim along Manabu's neck and shoulder before returning.

A little thrill runs up Grey's spine with every motion. This feels like it has to be a dream, but it's remarkably vivid. He can feel Manabu's breath, taste Manabu's skin, and- though his own heart is hammering- hear the soft thumping of Manabu's tail.

It nearly makes him laugh into the kiss because he'd been guiltily fantasizing about such a thing earlier, and Manabu may be able to feel Grey grinning briefly before he returns to the business of kissing.

Grey stretches the moment out for as long as possible, but eventually he has to break it off, panting a little as he does. He doesn't go far, tilting his head to rest his forehead against Manabu's.]

...How was that?

[siriusly]

[Manabu is a bit too invested in the moment to feel self-conscious about his stupid tail, especially when Grey’s fingers tickle his scalp and skin so delightfully.

there’s a moment where his elbow almost buckles and sends him into Grey, but he keeps his balance, only at risk a second time when that last kiss breaks.

whoa.

no wonder people do this.

softly, a little dazed:] It always…feels that nice…? [how is that a mistake?!]

[repeatedprayer]

[Grey's heart leaps at Manabu's dazed response, and he has trouble giving his own answer much consideration.]

I don't know. [He's never kissed anyone else, personally. Still, he has enough secondhand knowledge to make a guess.] I believe it depends on... various factors.

[The right time, the right place... the right person.

Grey shifts his head back so that he can look Manabu in the eye properly. (Or try to, considering how dark it is.)]

Perhaps further experimentation is called for?

[siriusly]

[Manabu’s lips still tingle, eyes glassy and glinting in the dark.

‘further experimentation’? that better just mean more…

Manabu shifts so he can lay back down, closer, awkwardly bumping at Grey’s face in the process while he’s situating, mumbling a sorry while getting his arm back out from under him.

he hesitates, then rests it on Grey’s chest.]

We can keep going. Like this? If you want. [his tail already gave him away, so.]

[repeatedprayer]

[Grey shifts alongside Manabu, chuckling from amusement and a pinch of nerves when they bump into one another. His arm finds its way to its now customary place, slung over Manabu's waist, and he presses his hand flat against Manabu's back.

He isn't sure, at first, what Manabu intends, but the fact he's staying so close seems like a good sign even before Manabu makes his suggestion.]

I think that's an excellent idea.

[Grey practically purrs the words, and he doesn't need further encouragement to return his mouth to Manabu's. Sleep can come later, thinking can come later, all that matters now is sensation, exploring this strange, mutual feeling that's grown between them.]

[siriusly]

[the affirmation, in that tone of voice, sends shivers down Manabu’s spine. his mouth twitches a shaky smile before it finds Grey’s again.

the dark seems to make that which was a mistake in the day a safe venture - relishing the warmth of Grey’s presence and lips, the tickling thrill of his fingers that encourage his own to hesitantly search the other…

is this okay?

it’s alright, Manabu.

pressing in, letting his fingers trail up to Grey’s neck and jaw, catching chances for a few, fluttering breaths here and there, he follows his impulse to just keep indulging and feeding that desire.]