thehauntedfrequency

doggone

[In the time following his departure from Tabito and Manabu's company, the alias "Grey" has wound up sticking.

Not that everyone calls him that, he's used a few other aliases since then, but it's what he's wound up thinking of himself as. If Grey had taken the time to think about it a bit more he might have picked something with a little less connection to Rezo's name, but it's still leagues better than thinking of himself as "Rez- wait, no, just a copy." And maybe that's why he's felt significantly calmer since he left Sairaag.

By his own standards, Grey has been laudably well-behaved; sure, he's been mostly doing under-the-table psychic work, often on behalf of criminals, but! He's been trying to keep a low profile so it's usually things like clairvoyant spying rather than anything violent, and he's been making a point of not doing anything that directly impacts the galaxy railways.

It would be extremely awkward if Manabu Yuuki had to try and arrest him, after all.

He's found himself frequently thinking about Manabu, much to his annoyance. He has no serious expectations of ever seeing Manabu again, so it's simply a waste of mental bandwidth to find himself wondering what Manabu is doing right now or where he is, or to reminisince over their incredibly brief acquaintanceship. Grey can only suppose that because Manabu was the first reasonably normal person he got to know after leaving Sairaag that Manabu is going to stick out in his mind for a while.

And it's probably because of the real estate that Manabu is hogging in Grey's mind that he's been very aware of every mention of the SDF that crosses his path. He hasn't exactly been tracking the SDF's activities deliberately, but he does pay attention to the news and the SDF frequently winds up in there, even if Manabu's name in particular isn't normally dropped.

Until the day it does.

SDF Officer Taken Hostage By Pirates]

* * *

[It's taken several weeks of investigating, but Grey has been able to track down The Huntress's client, a Dr. Parish and associates. It must be a small galaxy, because Dr. Parish is someone Grey knows. Sort of.

Rather, Dr. Parish was a colleague of Rezo's who collaborated with the man on chimera research (and other unsavory things) in the past. Not only that, the man was an ardent admirer of Rezo's superior psychic prowess, and desperate to improve his own meager abilities.

He'd had quite a shock when Grey approached him in town, but after the initial surprise it had been sickeningly easy to convince Dr. Parish that he was the real Rezo. Grey can only surmise that the man wants to believe too badly to let himself be properly suspicious. It had only taken a day for Grey to be invited to tour Parish's laboratory.

The lab's located on the grounds of a former Marquess's estate, a ways out of town and secluded by trees, a high wall, and a long drive. Grey's done a little recon before, but actually being here is different, especially since he has to navigate by cane at the moment. Grey is doing his best to politely nod and smile as Parish guides him from room to room, explaining their work and occasionally handing him things to examine himself.

But evidently Parish realizes that "Rezo" isn't entirely interested, because he stops partway through an explanation of some stem cell experiments he and a few others have been working on to say "Of course, the really interesting specimens are kept in the basement floor."

Grey already knows this. He hopes his expression seems the right sort of eager.]

Interesting?

["Something along the lines of what we did in the past. Would you like to see them?"]

Nothing would please me more.

[Grey can practically hear Parish's delighted grin. To soothe the surge of irritation, Grey reminds himself that he's going to kill this man before the end of the day and allows Parish to guide him out into the hall and to the basement entrance at the back of the building.]

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Pffh-- [that catches him off-guard, makes him laugh a little.] I mean, yeah! I can definitely do that if I need to.

[that does ease the heaviness of the circumstance a bit, at least.]

[Violence truly makes everything better! Grey smiles a little, satisfied that Manabu's not completely miserable.]

Then that's settled. We'll go shopping tomorrow.

[And with that matter agreed upon, Grey's going to return to research. The SDF's going to have a lot of notes to go through later.]

[tomorrow! the notion helps energize Manabu...

...for all of like forty-five minutes of reading-slash-listening to reading. it's a semi-valiant effort, but it ends as one would expect: with him zonking out asleep yet again, but this edition comes with him slumping against Grey's shoulder in the process.

at least he's not a drooler.]

[Grey only vaguely notices when Manabu goes quiet, but the weight against his shoulder is what makes him look over. He's not terribly surprised to see Manabu there and fast asleep- this isn't even the first time Manabu's fallen asleep against him.

He briefly considers just letting Manabu stay like this, but he won't be able to use his arm much without risking dislodging Manabu. Perhaps it will be better to get him to lie down properly.

...And if they both lie down he can cuddle Manabu as much as he wants and not have to worry about making things weird because they've already fucked twice. The notion of that actually paralyzes him for a few moments as he takes a little time to process it.

Bedtime it is!

Grey sets the tablet aside and carefully shifts his arms so that he can shake Manabu awake as gently as possible- he doesn't need the man extremely alert, just pliable enough that he can get tucked in and Grey has a moment to at least take his slacks off, if not change for bed.]

Come on now. Let's settle down properly.

Mruh-? [Manabu shifts and sits up, blinking drowsily.] Is it time to go? [shopping, obviously. it's tomorrow already?]

No, Manabu. But you can't sleep on my shoulder all night. [That would be kind of bad for his neck, for one thing.] Get under the covers. I'll be joining you shortly.

[And then, because he wants to and they've somehow wound up in a situationship where that's allowed, Grey leans in and kisses Manabu on the forehead.]

Uoh...mn...

[so it's still 'today.' Manabu rubs at one of his eyes, going still belatedly as he registers the little kiss left seconds ago.

red-faced, he pulls off the shirt he'd been wearing all day off and burrows under the covers as he feels his heartrate jump. what's up with that! seriously...

...well. it's not so strange, isn't it? he's gotten so physically close to Grey so fast...

it's not...normal, is it. but then, neither is what happened to him. so that's hardly a factor, is it?]

[Out of habit, Grey heads into the bathroom to change for bed; he realizes once he's in there that it's probably unnecessary since he's already shown Manabu his dick, but given that he also needs to brush his teeth he might as well take care of both issues while he's in there.

He emerges a few minutes later clad in pajama pants and nothing else. The shirt he's been wearing in an attempt to make sharing a bed less intimate doesn't seem called for tonight, given that that particular horse has already bolted the stables and is running free across the prairies.

That's not to say he's entirely without nerves when he shuts the light off and crawls under the blankets, squirming his way over to Manabu's side. He doesn't think Manabu's going to suddenly freak out and decide he needs space when Grey presses up against him, but...

Well, the events of the previous night certainly are looming large. Not entirely in an unpleasant way since they're good memories, definitely some of the best in Grey's life, but still big.

He's not even sure where to begin tackling that or if it even needs to be tackled, so he addresses a different concern.]

Do you think you'll be able to sleep?

[Grey's voice is quiet, on the off-chance that Manabu is already asleep or half-asleep.]

[as always, Manabu tenses up when the other body draws in close, shoulder drawing up and head tucking in. he remains still even as the ask tickles at his ears.]

I'll...I'll try. [but he did just nap. and he is now wired all over again with the feeling of Grey against his back...

his tail twitches a bit against Grey's leg.]

If I stay really still, maybe...

[twitch twitch.]

[Ah. Unfortunate, Grey had hoped that he hadn't shaken Manabu too awake.]

I think that will be difficult for you. You're a fidgety sort.

[Exhibit A: The tail twitching against his leg right now.

He realizes after he says this that Manabu might now be at risk of lying awake going "Must sleep! Must sleep!' which is, ironically, a counterproductive mindset when it comes to actually resting.]

Well, don't worry too much about it. It isn't as if the bed is going anywhere.

[Or Grey, for that matter.]

[true. he shouldn't worry!

...

...

his tail won't stop twitching. he's worried!!! he's going to be awake too long and that'll keep Grey awake and then that compromises his ability to get around tomorrow and that's going to compromise any means of going anywhere sooner and--

he takes in a loud, deep breath, holds it a beat, then lets it out with a sigh.]

...Sorry.

[While Manabu worries, Grey lays there, content with the warmth and proximity. Up until Manabu sighs, anyway- and it's quite a dramatic sigh.

As usual, Manabu's prone to telegraphing his feelings in bold print. Although what's causing those feelings isn't necessarily as clear as the feelings themselves, which is why Grey decides the apology needs clarity.]

What for?

[Is it for twitching? That seems to be where their conversation was going.]

For not...getting better faster. [for being a burden! he's the worst at convalescing, on sitting still, on being the one having to be coddled...he's the youngest sibling, the one with the burden of legacy, the one who has to strain to reach tall shelves...

damn, what? gonna feel bad about being short now? brain, stop!]

[Grey's response is, of course, utterly tactful and empathetic to Manabu's emotional anguish.]

Ah. That again?

[Really, Manabu's doing very well considering he's barely a week out of the lab...

And if Manabu stayed like this forever- too sick to go very far on his own, in need of constant protection- Grey realizes he wouldn't entirely mind. Except for the fact that Manabu would be miserable about it. But other than that he'd be content to keep carrying Manabu both literally and metaphorically.

After all, the sooner Manabu gets better the sooner they'll have to go their separate ways.]

Do you really expect me to be angry about that?

No, maybe just-- just disappointed, I guess. [because Manabu sure is!] I'm not...really leaving much of an impression of a capable person, am I.

Hmm...

[Grey privately admits, if he were to describe Manabu, "capable" wouldn't be the first word to come to mind. But neither would "incapable" or "incompetent." (Though "idiot" might be a possibility, in the sense of "thinks with a heart that is much too big for his own good.")]

You have areas you're strong in and areas you're weak in. If we're speaking of your physical capabilities and your constitution, I would say you're actually more capable than average. You're recovering at a rate that is faster than any reasonable physician would predict, even allowing for the time you spent sedated post-surgery.

[Which he's not entirely sure of the length of, and they're likely to never know the exact length for sure, but he'd approximate as being about a month based on the examination he did.

Anyway. That might be a start, but Grey has the suspicion that there's a bit more going into Manabu's self-esteem issue than his inability to instantly leap out of a surgery room and start karate chopping bad guys. So what else does Manabu have going for him ~~apart from being an adorable dog of a man~~?]

Manabu. You're a capable driver, mechanic, deliveryman, and chef. You're not much of a planner but you're fine at improvising. I haven't seen you acting as an SDF officer but since you've managed to make it four or five years and only been put on probation once, I think it's safe to assume you're doing something right. When we were on Tabito together it was obvious that everyone considered you trustworthy. And you're also...

[Grey trails off, embarrassment creeping up his spine and setting his body aflame before he can bring himself to finish. He feels as though he's not just wearing his heart on his sleeve but beating Manabu over the head with it.

Well. In for a penny?]

-You're a good friend. For whatever that's worth to you.

[Manabu flushes hot to the touch, tail curling at the end. it's embarrassing and gratifying to hear it all laid out, but he's glad he's facing away right then and there.

j-jeez...!

eventually, quietly:] This is...a bit more than friendship, isn't it...?

[Grey's also rather glad they're not facing one another. As it is, he still has the urge to duck his head- but if he did that he'd just be burying his face in Manabu's hair.

It doesn't help that Manabu's so quiet. He half-expects Manabu to chide him for being- oh, embarrassing, or too much, or something along those lines. How can he be sure he didn't say something wrong? Something strange?

But eventually, Manabu breaks the silence. And Grey exhales.]

...Yes.

[He can't deny it. He's far from an expert on human relations, but he knows enough that he can tell this isn't a normal buddy-buddy thing they have going on.]

I don't know... What I'd call this... But I never thought I'd have anything like it.

[me neither, he thinks, but doesn't give voice to it. that's not true, is it? in the nebulous, grand plan of his life...wasn't a romantic partner inevitable? in order to have a family, some carbon copy of his father...

but that had always been something so far away, something he didn't plan for in the present-tense.

he didn't plan for this. but if he had planned for it at all...it wouldn't have happened.

after another lapse of quiet, Manabu shifts, rolling around, having to fidget a bit to not lay on his tail, and faces Grey. it's still not entirely dark yet, so there's still enough of Grey to see.]

I wouldn't...make it out of this without you. So...thank you.

[There's another one of those long, quiet moments, where Grey finds he's the one who has to try not to fidget. When Manabu begins to shift Grey tenses, holding himself as still as he can while Manabu turns. He only relaxes again when their eyes meet and Manabu says his piece.

Grey swallows, and nods slightly. He's not sure if what Manabu says is entirely true- surely Manabu's comrades in the SDF are looking for him, and Manabu's determined enough that he very well might have found an opportunity to escape on his own eventually. Just as Grey had.

But who knows how long that would have taken? Perhaps Grey can be proud of himself for this, for his role in saving Manabu.

Grey raises his hand and sets it gently on Manabu's cheek, stroking his fingers across the warm skin. Any words he can come up with feel inadequate as a response, so he prays this will communicate something of his feelings.]

[Manabu's skin tingles at the touch - touch that makes his chest feel a bit tighter. before giving himself time to think, he tilts his head in and presses a couple, gentle kisses on Grey; each one makes him more certain of his feelings.

maybe it's a touch of the good old-fashioned trauma bonding at play, but he'd thought about Grey before the trauma, so...it still matters, doesn't it?]

[Ah. There it is, the soft press of Manabu's lips against his own. Grey never seems to entirely stop wanting that. He fears he may be becoming addicted to this proximity.]

Manabu...

[Grey curves his hand around the side of Manabu's head- he feels scar tissue underneath his palm, where Manabu's ears used to be, and it marrs the moment with a visceral reminder of how Manabu's suffered.

Still, he doesn't want to spoil the intimate mood by remarking on it. Grey shifts his hand to the back of Manabu's head and continues plying him with kisses.]

[touching and being touched is about as gratifying as anything can get, and Manabu can let himself relish that in the night when the time for hard work is done. otherwise he hadn't earned it, right? there was still so much to do, so much to recover from...

but the love bites show on his skin more prominently than the bruising from needles as days progress, and he can move a bit better and more certainly once he's got the shoes and chance to go out and try. he tries too hard, of course, and often needs to be reminded to not overdo it or wind up doubled over from nausea and fatigue. even so, every day he makes himself move farther, quietly shaming himself for every fumble along the way.

there's gratification, too, in being able to do a few more squats or pushups without feeling dizzy or ill; getting back into shape after months strapped down is part of this problem with his footing, he's sure. he won't really regard how much easier all that is when he lets his tail coordinate his balance, and it does take reminding for him to brush the damn thing out. turns out ignoring that which he dislikes doesn't make it go away.]

Two kilometers. [he makes that decision amidst kisses, tangled up again with Grey.] I'm making it two kilometers tomorrow.

[The days continue to pass like a bizarre mixture of a convalescence and a honeymoon. The intimacy is overwhelming at times, and Grey's secretly a little grateful for his occasional errands out into the city providing him a breather- and yet at the same time he spends those same errands with part of his heart staying back at the apartment, with Manabu. And when it's time to go home he rushes back eagerly, ready to hold and be held once more.

Occasionally Grey lets Manabu tags along on those errands, more frequently as the days progress; no dangerous forays onto campus grounds or storage units are made, but it's not so bad to take him along to the corner store or the laundromat downstairs, whenever their nightly sessions of fooling around lead to messy results.

It's during another of those sessions that Manabu brings up his latest goal. Grey pauses, trying to redirect his thoughts to something other than Manabu's mouth. Two kilometers...]

Why two kilometers?

[As ever, Grey's of two minds when Manabu pushes himself. Progress is regarded with a mixture of pride and trepidation.]

That's how far the campus is from here. [aforementioned mouth curves in a resolute smile. the closer a goal becomes, the more determined he is to reach it. at present, reaching is mostly threading fingers in Grey's hair, which is nice, but also not helping anyone but himself.]

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