thehauntedfrequency

doggone

[In the time following his departure from Tabito and Manabu's company, the alias "Grey" has wound up sticking.

Not that everyone calls him that, he's used a few other aliases since then, but it's what he's wound up thinking of himself as. If Grey had taken the time to think about it a bit more he might have picked something with a little less connection to Rezo's name, but it's still leagues better than thinking of himself as "Rez- wait, no, just a copy." And maybe that's why he's felt significantly calmer since he left Sairaag.

By his own standards, Grey has been laudably well-behaved; sure, he's been mostly doing under-the-table psychic work, often on behalf of criminals, but! He's been trying to keep a low profile so it's usually things like clairvoyant spying rather than anything violent, and he's been making a point of not doing anything that directly impacts the galaxy railways.

It would be extremely awkward if Manabu Yuuki had to try and arrest him, after all.

He's found himself frequently thinking about Manabu, much to his annoyance. He has no serious expectations of ever seeing Manabu again, so it's simply a waste of mental bandwidth to find himself wondering what Manabu is doing right now or where he is, or to reminisince over their incredibly brief acquaintanceship. Grey can only suppose that because Manabu was the first reasonably normal person he got to know after leaving Sairaag that Manabu is going to stick out in his mind for a while.

And it's probably because of the real estate that Manabu is hogging in Grey's mind that he's been very aware of every mention of the SDF that crosses his path. He hasn't exactly been tracking the SDF's activities deliberately, but he does pay attention to the news and the SDF frequently winds up in there, even if Manabu's name in particular isn't normally dropped.

Until the day it does.

SDF Officer Taken Hostage By Pirates]

* * *

[It's taken several weeks of investigating, but Grey has been able to track down The Huntress's client, a Dr. Parish and associates. It must be a small galaxy, because Dr. Parish is someone Grey knows. Sort of.

Rather, Dr. Parish was a colleague of Rezo's who collaborated with the man on chimera research (and other unsavory things) in the past. Not only that, the man was an ardent admirer of Rezo's superior psychic prowess, and desperate to improve his own meager abilities.

He'd had quite a shock when Grey approached him in town, but after the initial surprise it had been sickeningly easy to convince Dr. Parish that he was the real Rezo. Grey can only surmise that the man wants to believe too badly to let himself be properly suspicious. It had only taken a day for Grey to be invited to tour Parish's laboratory.

The lab's located on the grounds of a former Marquess's estate, a ways out of town and secluded by trees, a high wall, and a long drive. Grey's done a little recon before, but actually being here is different, especially since he has to navigate by cane at the moment. Grey is doing his best to politely nod and smile as Parish guides him from room to room, explaining their work and occasionally handing him things to examine himself.

But evidently Parish realizes that "Rezo" isn't entirely interested, because he stops partway through an explanation of some stem cell experiments he and a few others have been working on to say "Of course, the really interesting specimens are kept in the basement floor."

Grey already knows this. He hopes his expression seems the right sort of eager.]

Interesting?

["Something along the lines of what we did in the past. Would you like to see them?"]

Nothing would please me more.

[Grey can practically hear Parish's delighted grin. To soothe the surge of irritation, Grey reminds himself that he's going to kill this man before the end of the day and allows Parish to guide him out into the hall and to the basement entrance at the back of the building.]

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[what is it about late hours and restless weariness that makes the mind act up like this? it's never been so bad before. but then...he hadn't gone through what he had before, so there is that. Manabu Yuuki was never privy to existential dread of this sort before.

he swallows thickly.]

Go back...t-to sleep. Sorry. Good night. [he rubs at his face. things to do tomorrow, just sleep! things will be better when the sun is up and he can move further forward.]

...

[Alright, Grey's now sure that "go back" refers to anything but sleep.]

You're a poor liar, Manabu.

[He raises his hand and pokes Manabu's cheek.]

Nrh-- [his ear twitches in tandem with the poke; he peeks up past his hand, pouting behind it.] I don't--want to make a big deal out of...little things. Like weird dreams. They don't mean anything, right?

[right???]

...That's a matter of ongoing debate in the field of psychology, but most people would agree that dreams at the very least have a connection to one's current mental state.

[That poke is now being followed up with a pinch. Grey is going to annoy Manabu out of that state of existential dread.]

So tell me about yours. Were you dreaming of the lab again?

Arh-- [his nose scrunches at the pinch, prompting him to duck his head.] O-obviously! [gosh!

beat.]

The, the doctors were SDF this time, though.

[SDF?]

That does sound strange.

[Wow. Helpful commentary, Grey. He shifts his hand away from Manabu's poor abused face and settles it back down on Manabu's shoulder.]

If we're going to be Freudian about it and assign symbolism to the dream, then it could indicate that on some level you blame the SDF for your current predicament. [A beat, presumably during which Manabu will bristle.]

-Or perhaps you fear that the SDF will no longer recognize you as one of their own.

[bristle confirmed: his face gets hot with shame.]

I-it's not their fault at all! I know the risks of my job. [though...getting animal parts was never in the handbook, because in what world would that be likely?! besides this one, that is.]

...

[one of their own...]

But I still... [...] It's going to be five months soon, isn't it? They wouldn't...leave Sirius Platoon understaffed so long...

...

[It's an idea that's occurred to Grey before but now- y'know, while Manabu's in the grips of dread!!- seems like an opportune time to ask about it.]

Is that part of why we're staying here to investigate? Because you want to prove you're still fit to serve the SDF before you try to return?

[the ear flattens.]

O-other people may be victims! Now or, or in the future...it's just not about me.

[...

but it kind of is. isn't it.]

Anything more is...selfish... [and he's selfish. saying that aloud, thinking that way, he can already hear the platoon getting on his ass about lone-wolf behavior.

but i'm not by myself!

having to explain Grey before he can properly protect him, too, that... no matter what way he looks at it, it's not easy, is it?]

[Manabu denies it, but... Grey wonders. Still, it isn't his intention to make Manabu feel bad about himself and his motivations. So rather than hound Manabu on this point, Grey thinks for a few moments and then switches tracks.]

Why is the SDF so important to you?

[It's not that Grey really has no clue; Manabu's eagerness to serve is one of his most prominent characteristics, and he knows there's a family history there. But not everybody wants to follow their family's footsteps and there are other paths to help people.]

Eh?

[he peeks back up, bewildered, like the value went without saying. to him, it does! he hardly had to think about it after he finally settled in, living on his own terms, out of the shadow of his father and brother.

the shadows don't loom anymore, but they do linger, as anything important surely must.

he stares for a beat longer before his gaze drifts.]

It's...always been important. My father was the pride of the SDF, captain of the Sirius Platoon...that was going to be me one day, I thought. [he thought.] I was going to make him proud, prove all of my mother's worry was worth something...

[Grey stares back, presumably waiting for Manabu to work the question out. When Manabu does, the answer is basically... more of the family legacy issue he'd told Grey about before (he wonders briefly if the late Captain Yuuki was actually the Pride Of The SDF or if that's an exaggeration borne of his son's hero worship of a relatively ordinary officer), although the part about Manabu's mother is an additional note that he doesn't think came up before.

Grey could interrogate Manabu on the use of the past tense, but he's pretty sure that has to do with the whole "dogs can't be in the SDF, especially if we've already replaced them with an officer who doesn't have serious vertigo issues."]

And why do your parents' feelings on the matter count for so much?

[What, do you actually LIKE and RESPECT your family??? Sounds weird.]

W-why wouldn't they? [he looks back, genuinely confused at that being a question at all.] They raised me, put their lives and effort into my happiness, you know? I can't waste all of that...!

...I suppose it's something I simply can't understand.

[Grey huffs, and raises his hand to scrub a little at his face.]

But if I could take a guess- if your parents are as magnanimous as you describe, surely they'll have a more... broad minded attitude about what you should do with yourself? Unless they'd told you that you had to be SDF and rise in the ranks and so on.

Well, no... [and considering that his mother slapped him the day he said he was going to enlist...

Manabu, looking troubled and uneasy, fidgets a bit.]

But after all this time, I'd be...letting them down. And myself. [blah blah honor blah blah values]

[See, that's why this is so difficult for Grey to wrap his head around- he doesn't got no stupid honor and values!]

Then setting aside your family for the moment, what about you? What do you like so much about being in the SDF that you'd miss if you couldn't return? I assume it isn't the part where you get shot at or abducted by pirates.

[that gets a little sound in lieu of a scoff. obviously not those parts!

he is quiet for a bit to consider it.]

What I did...mattered to a lot of people. And...helped people find their own ways. Where they belonged. [and Manabu felt like the SDF was where he belonged, even after so much tumult and trial.]

[Grey furrows his brow, trying to work out how much he should read into what Manabu says about helping people find their own ways.]

...Even in the unlikely event that you can't rejoin the SDF, I'm sure you can find another path. There's a great deal of meaningful work that needs to be done in this world.

[A lot of which would probably require Manabu to do some studying, but hey.]

But I think they'll want you back regardless of any extra appendages you bring along.

[Grey had, after all.]

But you know... If you decide you really can't go back, I wouldn't mind letting you travel with me.

[a fresh blush blooms on Manabu's face; he'd be safely hidden in the dark were he not so earnest in his startled fidget and sounds.

after the fumble:] That, that would mean...doing a lot less dirty work, you know.

[The startlement makes Grey wary, but once Manabu does not respond with outrage Grey relaxes. Mostly.]

I think my work is fairly clean as far as these things go! [Harumph!]

Besides, maybe you have a hitherto untapped talent for crime.

D-don't say that...! [that's the last thing he wants to hear!]

I suppose it is rather hard to picture you in that role.

[Grey can't so much as imagine a younger Manabu shoplifting a candy bar from a corner store... His mother probably would not have tolerated such acts.

Grey gives Manabu an absent pat on the head.]

But the rest of it doesn't sound too bad, does it? The galaxy's full of interesting sights. We could go see them together.

[They could run away from responsibilities together.]

[even in the dark, Manabu's eyes are bright. the prospect makes his chest tight, the swirl of emotions shifting from the shame of his stupid dream to the fearful prospect of...giving up everything he ever worked and fought for in order to stay at Grey's side.

why can't he have both?]

That would be nice... [nicer than he can admit.] But you'd get sick of me after a while, wouldn't you?

[Grey's first thought in response to that is:]

Nonsense.

[The head pat turns into a brief ruffle. Never mind that Grey has outright told Manabu that he finds him annoying sometimes! Manabu clearly has no reason to be concerned about the possibility.]

You're the most enjoyable person I know.

[Manabu's breath catches, held for that ruffle. he reaches up and catches the offending hand near the wrist, guiding it away from his hair.]

At, at this point, I hope so. [anything less would be hard to grasp - almost as hard as reality itself.

before letting the hand go, he gingerly kisses at Grey's fingers.]

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