thehauntedfrequency

doggone

[In the time following his departure from Tabito and Manabu's company, the alias "Grey" has wound up sticking.

Not that everyone calls him that, he's used a few other aliases since then, but it's what he's wound up thinking of himself as. If Grey had taken the time to think about it a bit more he might have picked something with a little less connection to Rezo's name, but it's still leagues better than thinking of himself as "Rez- wait, no, just a copy." And maybe that's why he's felt significantly calmer since he left Sairaag.

By his own standards, Grey has been laudably well-behaved; sure, he's been mostly doing under-the-table psychic work, often on behalf of criminals, but! He's been trying to keep a low profile so it's usually things like clairvoyant spying rather than anything violent, and he's been making a point of not doing anything that directly impacts the galaxy railways.

It would be extremely awkward if Manabu Yuuki had to try and arrest him, after all.

He's found himself frequently thinking about Manabu, much to his annoyance. He has no serious expectations of ever seeing Manabu again, so it's simply a waste of mental bandwidth to find himself wondering what Manabu is doing right now or where he is, or to reminisince over their incredibly brief acquaintanceship. Grey can only suppose that because Manabu was the first reasonably normal person he got to know after leaving Sairaag that Manabu is going to stick out in his mind for a while.

And it's probably because of the real estate that Manabu is hogging in Grey's mind that he's been very aware of every mention of the SDF that crosses his path. He hasn't exactly been tracking the SDF's activities deliberately, but he does pay attention to the news and the SDF frequently winds up in there, even if Manabu's name in particular isn't normally dropped.

Until the day it does.

SDF Officer Taken Hostage By Pirates]

* * *

[It's taken several weeks of investigating, but Grey has been able to track down The Huntress's client, a Dr. Parish and associates. It must be a small galaxy, because Dr. Parish is someone Grey knows. Sort of.

Rather, Dr. Parish was a colleague of Rezo's who collaborated with the man on chimera research (and other unsavory things) in the past. Not only that, the man was an ardent admirer of Rezo's superior psychic prowess, and desperate to improve his own meager abilities.

He'd had quite a shock when Grey approached him in town, but after the initial surprise it had been sickeningly easy to convince Dr. Parish that he was the real Rezo. Grey can only surmise that the man wants to believe too badly to let himself be properly suspicious. It had only taken a day for Grey to be invited to tour Parish's laboratory.

The lab's located on the grounds of a former Marquess's estate, a ways out of town and secluded by trees, a high wall, and a long drive. Grey's done a little recon before, but actually being here is different, especially since he has to navigate by cane at the moment. Grey is doing his best to politely nod and smile as Parish guides him from room to room, explaining their work and occasionally handing him things to examine himself.

But evidently Parish realizes that "Rezo" isn't entirely interested, because he stops partway through an explanation of some stem cell experiments he and a few others have been working on to say "Of course, the really interesting specimens are kept in the basement floor."

Grey already knows this. He hopes his expression seems the right sort of eager.]

Interesting?

["Something along the lines of what we did in the past. Would you like to see them?"]

Nothing would please me more.

[Grey can practically hear Parish's delighted grin. To soothe the surge of irritation, Grey reminds himself that he's going to kill this man before the end of the day and allows Parish to guide him out into the hall and to the basement entrance at the back of the building.]

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Maybe we should do this more often then. [Grey continues to serenely brush.] So that you can get used to it.

If you do that...I'd start counting on it. [and then when Grey decided to leave, what then?]

[Grey's brow furrows.]

...

[...Right. And wasn't it Grey himself who said he wouldn't always be able to do this for Manabu?]

I know that... But I still...

[Manabu turns his head to face the wall, chin on his knees, the dangling sentence haunting him.]

Yeah. Me, too.

[whatever that remainder after 'still' is, Manabu feels a similar way. he still...]

[As Grey said, there isn't much brushing left to do. Only a few more strokes and Manabu's tail is smooth and soft as can be, and Grey has to set the brush aside.]

...There. All done.

[Grey stares down at the tail for a little longer, wanting to grab it, or pet it, or just brush it a bit more even though it isn't necessary. Anything that involves touching Manabu more, really... But he wonders if it's right to let Manabu count on that as well.

This isn't fair.

Grey's grip tightens on the brush he still holds, as a hot wave of anger rises up inside him. Why the hell does it have to be like this? Why did he have to be a copy and still have a heart? He can't be content with a life as a tool, he can't vindicate his own existence, and he can't have Manabu.]

Damn it...

[Manabu's ear flicks, prompting him to lift his head and look over.]

...Grey?

[Grey looks up at Manabu, his expression considerably starker than it was only a minute ago.

He could try to brush it off. He could apologize. Try to explain himself. He could tell Manabu how he's feeling, beg him to let Grey know if there's anything, anything at all he can do to keep Manabu with him.

What he does instead is grasp the back of Manabu's head and pull him in for a rough kiss.]

Mrh-?!!

[Manabu bristles, startled by the grab and the unexpected kiss. it takes a few seconds for him to process it, especially in his jarred, awkward posture. he tilts his head so he can accept the pressure more evenly, twisting at the torso and keeping himself upright with a hand braced on the mattress.

his heart feels...full but still weirdly heavy. it's a pressure he's not used to in this circumstance.]

[This isn't the first time Grey's suddenly sprung a kiss on Manabu, and maybe later he'll think about if that's a bad habit or not. Right now he's more concerned with fitting their mouths together, of angling his body against Manabu's in just the right way to overwhelm them both. His free hand reaches out and tangles in the front of Manabu's shirt, as he mindlessly tries to pull Manabu closer.

He kisses Manabu as if he can make all their problems go away if he just kisses him hard enough.]

Grhmhph-- [Grey...!

Manabu has to scramble to keep upright of his own accord, lest Grey completely command that for him. and while he's so easily molded by that man's hands, Manabu doesn't want to lose himself that quickly.

he's pulled in, left to balance his own weight on one knee, having to grab onto Grey's shoulders to keep from pitching off the bed entirely, his lungs burning a bit from lack of air. with a muffled protest, he manages to withdraw and gasp for air.]

[The resistance is only starting to register when Manabu finally manages to break off the kiss. Comparatively cool air flows over Grey's mouth, and he can feel Manabu gasping and fumbling for balance. Shit, he's been quite graceless, hasn't he?

Grey pants and shakily loosens his grip on Manabu's shirt and hair, then slowly lowers his arms and wraps them lightly around Manabu's torso.]

...Sorry.

...

[the intensity's still taking a while to process. Manabu wavers a bit as he's more tenderly held, blinking in bewilderment.

he tilts his head so he can better see Grey's face, his expression, trying to understand it without words. but it's hard...there's nuances he just doesn't know how to parse - an empath with no book of translation, just hunches. sometimes they're right, sometimes he gets punched in the face.

his brow knits.]

Grey, I don't...understand. I can't tell what you're thinking. I want to--

[Grey ducks his head under that scrutiny. His brow is furrowed and his face is red- he's still angry, not at Manabu, but at their circumstances. And a touch embarrassed for losing control like that. The way Manabu broke it off makes him worry he overstepped.

I can't tell what you're thinking. What is Grey thinking? Too much, but at the same time when those thoughts aren't going anywhere it doesn't feel like he's thinking at all. He can handle the problems of Manabu's recovery and of the enemies that kidnapped Manabu, but again and again Grey runs into the insurmountable wall that is his own identity.

Softly:]

What do you want, Manabu?

I want to know! [he insists, tilting his head so he can see something more of his face, his hands reflexively squeezing on Grey's shoulder. sitting like this, his leg's about to fall asleep, but he won't move to shift just yet.] I want to know...what you're thinking, Grey. We're in this together, right? Partners...

[Grey swallows, his gaze flicking to Manabu's face and then away again. Where does he even begin to start?]

Why do you... care so much about what I think? [Avoiding the question seems easiest.] Hah... No one else ever did.

[Or at least, they didn't believe he even had thoughts of his own.]

So?

[the confusion is still plain on his features, even though his expression tightens with some of that signature stubbornness.]

So what about other people? I'm the one asking! Isn't that enough? Why wouldn't I care? We're friends! We're partners!

...

[Grey bites his lip.

Friends. Partners. He wants so, so badly for the two of them to stay that way. For Manabu to continue to give a damn about Grey, the way Grey does about him. But...]

I think if you knew more about me, you wouldn't.

[where has he heard this kind of talk before...

his grip on Grey's shoulders tighten.]

Maybe let me decide that for myself. It's only fair... You...you've already made up your mind about me, haven't you? Enough to do all of this...

[Grey hunches his shoulders as Manabu's grip tightens. Ever the unstable sort, a few words are enough for Grey to shift from melancholy to incensed.]

I know it's not fair! But even then- even if I know it's the wrong thing, I can't stand the thought of you truly hating me- or, or just seeing me as an object. Even if the right thing to do is let you judge me, I can't bring myself to do that. I'm not like you, Manabu. I don't give a damn about what's fair or not.

Grey, what--what does that mean? Object? Why would I ever do that? [that's such a baffling thing to say - the notion wasn't even in the same universe of thought.]

I... [God. Did he say too much?]

That's... [Manabu's hands are digging into his shoulders. Grey could try shoving him off. He's not sure he wants to.]

That's how he saw me. Rezo.

[Just saying his name makes Grey feel a little sick. But it's also kind of a relief?]

Or maybe he just hated me. I don't know. He wasn't the only one.

[the grip relaxes a little with a twitch. he blinks.

Rezo.]

The one...you were pretending to be. To find me. He's a relative of yours, right? [twin brother, right?]

[Grey swallows.]

...Yes.

[A relative. In a manner of speaking.]

Well, I don't even know this Rezo-guy, so why would I think or say what he does? C'mon...

Wait-- I don't remind you of him, do I? [that guy was like, idolized by crazy science guys! Manabu's...Manabu!]

[That earns a startled little scoff.] No. You're nothing like him!

[-Grey says that not so much out of some kind of offense but because, on first thought, the two of them really do seem very different. But then as he sits with that thought for a moment, a few other stray thoughts click into place.]

Well. Perhaps not entirely nothing. You're both prone to sticking your noses in other people's business. Or he used to be at any rate... [He's kind of dead now, and all.]

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