thehauntedfrequency

doggone

[In the time following his departure from Tabito and Manabu's company, the alias "Grey" has wound up sticking.

Not that everyone calls him that, he's used a few other aliases since then, but it's what he's wound up thinking of himself as. If Grey had taken the time to think about it a bit more he might have picked something with a little less connection to Rezo's name, but it's still leagues better than thinking of himself as "Rez- wait, no, just a copy." And maybe that's why he's felt significantly calmer since he left Sairaag.

By his own standards, Grey has been laudably well-behaved; sure, he's been mostly doing under-the-table psychic work, often on behalf of criminals, but! He's been trying to keep a low profile so it's usually things like clairvoyant spying rather than anything violent, and he's been making a point of not doing anything that directly impacts the galaxy railways.

It would be extremely awkward if Manabu Yuuki had to try and arrest him, after all.

He's found himself frequently thinking about Manabu, much to his annoyance. He has no serious expectations of ever seeing Manabu again, so it's simply a waste of mental bandwidth to find himself wondering what Manabu is doing right now or where he is, or to reminisince over their incredibly brief acquaintanceship. Grey can only suppose that because Manabu was the first reasonably normal person he got to know after leaving Sairaag that Manabu is going to stick out in his mind for a while.

And it's probably because of the real estate that Manabu is hogging in Grey's mind that he's been very aware of every mention of the SDF that crosses his path. He hasn't exactly been tracking the SDF's activities deliberately, but he does pay attention to the news and the SDF frequently winds up in there, even if Manabu's name in particular isn't normally dropped.

Until the day it does.

SDF Officer Taken Hostage By Pirates]

* * *

[It's taken several weeks of investigating, but Grey has been able to track down The Huntress's client, a Dr. Parish and associates. It must be a small galaxy, because Dr. Parish is someone Grey knows. Sort of.

Rather, Dr. Parish was a colleague of Rezo's who collaborated with the man on chimera research (and other unsavory things) in the past. Not only that, the man was an ardent admirer of Rezo's superior psychic prowess, and desperate to improve his own meager abilities.

He'd had quite a shock when Grey approached him in town, but after the initial surprise it had been sickeningly easy to convince Dr. Parish that he was the real Rezo. Grey can only surmise that the man wants to believe too badly to let himself be properly suspicious. It had only taken a day for Grey to be invited to tour Parish's laboratory.

The lab's located on the grounds of a former Marquess's estate, a ways out of town and secluded by trees, a high wall, and a long drive. Grey's done a little recon before, but actually being here is different, especially since he has to navigate by cane at the moment. Grey is doing his best to politely nod and smile as Parish guides him from room to room, explaining their work and occasionally handing him things to examine himself.

But evidently Parish realizes that "Rezo" isn't entirely interested, because he stops partway through an explanation of some stem cell experiments he and a few others have been working on to say "Of course, the really interesting specimens are kept in the basement floor."

Grey already knows this. He hopes his expression seems the right sort of eager.]

Interesting?

["Something along the lines of what we did in the past. Would you like to see them?"]

Nothing would please me more.

[Grey can practically hear Parish's delighted grin. To soothe the surge of irritation, Grey reminds himself that he's going to kill this man before the end of the day and allows Parish to guide him out into the hall and to the basement entrance at the back of the building.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[The resistance is only starting to register when Manabu finally manages to break off the kiss. Comparatively cool air flows over Grey's mouth, and he can feel Manabu gasping and fumbling for balance. Shit, he's been quite graceless, hasn't he?

Grey pants and shakily loosens his grip on Manabu's shirt and hair, then slowly lowers his arms and wraps them lightly around Manabu's torso.]

...Sorry.

...

[the intensity's still taking a while to process. Manabu wavers a bit as he's more tenderly held, blinking in bewilderment.

he tilts his head so he can better see Grey's face, his expression, trying to understand it without words. but it's hard...there's nuances he just doesn't know how to parse - an empath with no book of translation, just hunches. sometimes they're right, sometimes he gets punched in the face.

his brow knits.]

Grey, I don't...understand. I can't tell what you're thinking. I want to--

[Grey ducks his head under that scrutiny. His brow is furrowed and his face is red- he's still angry, not at Manabu, but at their circumstances. And a touch embarrassed for losing control like that. The way Manabu broke it off makes him worry he overstepped.

I can't tell what you're thinking. What is Grey thinking? Too much, but at the same time when those thoughts aren't going anywhere it doesn't feel like he's thinking at all. He can handle the problems of Manabu's recovery and of the enemies that kidnapped Manabu, but again and again Grey runs into the insurmountable wall that is his own identity.

Softly:]

What do you want, Manabu?

I want to know! [he insists, tilting his head so he can see something more of his face, his hands reflexively squeezing on Grey's shoulder. sitting like this, his leg's about to fall asleep, but he won't move to shift just yet.] I want to know...what you're thinking, Grey. We're in this together, right? Partners...

[Grey swallows, his gaze flicking to Manabu's face and then away again. Where does he even begin to start?]

Why do you... care so much about what I think? [Avoiding the question seems easiest.] Hah... No one else ever did.

[Or at least, they didn't believe he even had thoughts of his own.]

So?

[the confusion is still plain on his features, even though his expression tightens with some of that signature stubbornness.]

So what about other people? I'm the one asking! Isn't that enough? Why wouldn't I care? We're friends! We're partners!

...

[Grey bites his lip.

Friends. Partners. He wants so, so badly for the two of them to stay that way. For Manabu to continue to give a damn about Grey, the way Grey does about him. But...]

I think if you knew more about me, you wouldn't.

[where has he heard this kind of talk before...

his grip on Grey's shoulders tighten.]

Maybe let me decide that for myself. It's only fair... You...you've already made up your mind about me, haven't you? Enough to do all of this...

[Grey hunches his shoulders as Manabu's grip tightens. Ever the unstable sort, a few words are enough for Grey to shift from melancholy to incensed.]

I know it's not fair! But even then- even if I know it's the wrong thing, I can't stand the thought of you truly hating me- or, or just seeing me as an object. Even if the right thing to do is let you judge me, I can't bring myself to do that. I'm not like you, Manabu. I don't give a damn about what's fair or not.

Grey, what--what does that mean? Object? Why would I ever do that? [that's such a baffling thing to say - the notion wasn't even in the same universe of thought.]

I... [God. Did he say too much?]

That's... [Manabu's hands are digging into his shoulders. Grey could try shoving him off. He's not sure he wants to.]

That's how he saw me. Rezo.

[Just saying his name makes Grey feel a little sick. But it's also kind of a relief?]

Or maybe he just hated me. I don't know. He wasn't the only one.

[the grip relaxes a little with a twitch. he blinks.

Rezo.]

The one...you were pretending to be. To find me. He's a relative of yours, right? [twin brother, right?]

[Grey swallows.]

...Yes.

[A relative. In a manner of speaking.]

Well, I don't even know this Rezo-guy, so why would I think or say what he does? C'mon...

Wait-- I don't remind you of him, do I? [that guy was like, idolized by crazy science guys! Manabu's...Manabu!]

[That earns a startled little scoff.] No. You're nothing like him!

[-Grey says that not so much out of some kind of offense but because, on first thought, the two of them really do seem very different. But then as he sits with that thought for a moment, a few other stray thoughts click into place.]

Well. Perhaps not entirely nothing. You're both prone to sticking your noses in other people's business. Or he used to be at any rate... [He's kind of dead now, and all.]

[Manabu lets him go to sit back on his leg, wince, and then adjust to stop sitting on his leg because it's gone numb; he partly stands just to put pressure on it and get feeling back, all the while his confused gaze is fixed on Grey - no chance he's letting this go now.]

And he thinks you're just a tool? Like...well, wait. Is it because of your powers? Does he use you to do things? [IS THAT WHY YOU DO CRIMES, GREY.]

[When Manabu withdraws Grey lets his arms slip away and fall limp to his sides. He doesn't meet Manabu's gaze, but stares instead at a random point on Manabu's shirt.]

...He used me as a test subject.

[~~The errand boy was Zelgadis.~~

Grey takes a shaky breath and elaborates.]

You never heard of Rezo before you got mixed up in all of this, did you? Rezo was known for being a very powerful healer and psychic user. He was also blind, and had been his entire life. His condition was the one thing he couldn't cure, but he wanted to see more than anything. And I was- also blind. And genetically a very close match to Rezo. I was an ideal subject for his chimera experiments.

[Manabu can probably infer a lot from there.]

[Manabu's tail bristles, an unpleasant chill gripping at him.

a test subject...]

So that's why...you went this far... [it was personal. because he was a test subject, too.

it's the wrong conclusion drawn from the same starting point. close, though.]

[Grey shakes his head.]

I told you, I'm not the honorable sort. If I'd known that some other poor bastard was getting experimented on I would have just shrugged my shoulders and kept away. I never wanted to get involved in any more of... of Rezo's world. But because it was you...

[He lifts his hand and makes a weak attempt at a gesture before letting it drop back down.]

I only came this far for you.

[Manabu's face reddens.]

Then...why would you ever think I would think less of you now? Grey, every--every big feeling I have for you...I wouldn't throw any of them away. No chance.

But knowing even that much...it explains a little... I'm relieved to know it. [that's the damn truth. there's just so many question marks with Grey, so little he has to work with to inform his own intuition! this helps.]

Nn...

[Grey squeezes his eyes shut and presses a knuckle to his mouth. Is it true? Could he really tell Manabu anything and everything, and still have Manabu by his side? Could Manabu forgive him for lying and hiding, for being just a mere copy?

He can't bring himself to risk it. But for the first time he can properly hold the idea of it in his mind.]

[Grey's still struggling, that much is plain. Manabu's eyes wince. did he push too hard? or...almost too hard? too hard and he'd be getting slapped or punched, honestly.

after a hesitation, Manabu reaches over and puts his hand on Grey's wrist.]

It's a lot to lay out, huh... Sorry. I won't ask anymore right now. But--thank you. Really. If it's this tough, then it's really important I treat it properly. I'll try to do that.

[Grey makes a soft, startled sound when Manabu touches his wrist, and lowers his hand from his face. His head tilts, and he finally makes proper eye contact with Manabu.

Grey blinks furiously, willing Manabu not to notice how wet his eyes are. Or at least, not to say anything about it. It's hard for him to properly respond to Manabu's words right away, but he is listening, and trying his best to actually consider it.

But he's still relieved when Manabu says he won't ask any more questions, at least not right now.

His tongue peeks out, briefly moistening his lower lip.]

...Can I hold you?

[It's an immensely pathetic request, and probably seems like something of a swerve in the conversation, but- Grey really, really wants to, and he's trusting that Manabu won't respond badly.]

A-- [Manabu's face reddens anew, his ears twitching in tandem with the way his eyes widen and then soften.]

...Mn. Yeah. Whatever you like. [he'd have been compliant even if grabbed without the ask...perhaps more's the surprise that he was asked at all.]

[Grey's tense for the beat or two that it takes Manabu to agree, but once he has Manabu's permission he doesn't think twice. He reaches out to wrap his arms around Manabu once more, and pulls Manabu into a careful, but firm embrace. Having Manabu there provokes a sense of sheer relief intense enough to make Grey shudder before his shoulders slump, and his head tilts into Manabu's shoulder.]

Thank you.

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