thehauntedfrequency

[Grey stares for a nonplussed beat as Manabu first, just lays there like someone who absolutely cannot handle things right now, and then starts trying to grab at the sheets without actually moving his position any.

The reverie of ??? is thankfully broken when Manabu asks him to step outside. Grey blinks a few times, face flushing.]

Ah, of course. I was going to take a shower anyway.

[A cold one.

He turns, somewhat stiffly, and heads off into the tiny bathroom he has been getting to know so well today. He has a feeling both of them are going to wind up making a lot of use of that bathroom over the next few days, just to get some privacy in this situation.]

[NO! Manabu's single remaining brain cell cries. how else is he supposed to scramble in there to cool off?! dammit!]

O-okay...

[it's fine. Manabu's still in hell, it's just a new layer. he double-triple checks to see the door is closed before patting himself around to finagle that stupid tail back through its loop and pull his skivvies up, rolling onto his side with a wheeze.

i'm a freak...

while Grey gets the mercy of cold water, Manabu just has to fidget around and hide himself under covers, pulling sheets over his burning face as well, as if he can completely camouflage himself from his own embarrassment.

he's a freak, and it felt good. this is hell!]

[It might be mercy, but it feels a bit more like penance to Grey. He keeps mentally replaying the entire examination, all the little noises Manabu made and the way his body felt under Grey's hands... It's perhaps worse, not being in the moment, because his imagination is free to embellish things. If he lets his thoughts run free he'll wind up fantasizing about Manabu moaning and arching into his touch, pleading for more...

Grey strips off his clothes as hastily as possible, wincing as his burgeoning erection tugs at the fabric of his underwear, and practically throws himself onto the shower. The blast of icy water hurts when he turns the cold water on full, but it's exactly what he needs right now. Hopefully Manabu's hearing isn't sensitive enough to catch Grey's pained hiss underneath the sound of running water.

This is lust, isn't it.

Grey feels incredibly stupid for not admitting it earlier. But it's shameful, isn't it? Something like him lusting after someone like Manabu... Especially while the other man is in such a vulnerable position. Who knew he had enough of a conscience to even care about such things? He's never wanted anyone else, not like this. Is this why he went to such lengths to find Manabu, and help him? Because he's secretly the sort of idiot who can be lead around by his dick?

He's learning a lot about himself, and he's not sure he wants to.

Once his body's numb with cold, Grey finally feels safe to go back into the main room. He towels off as briskly as possible and pulls his clothes back on with clumsy fingers.

As soon as he's out, he glances around for Manabu. The man's easy to spot, in a way- he's burrowed so deeply under the covers that Grey can't see much more of him than a bit of fluffy brown hair, but the lump curled up on the bed can't really be anyone else. Manabu must be exhausted.]

Manabu? Should I turn the light off?

[Manabu's attention has been trying to focus on anything but the throbbing going on with him - which meant mostly just the muffled, ambient noises coming from the bathroom.

that. that didn't help as much as it should've, given that involved thinking about Grey in the shower, but. y'know.

one of those ears twitches at the sound of his name, the rest of him as stone still as he can make himself.

huh? light?]

O-only if you want to. It's fine. [what time is it, anyway? is time still real?]

[It's not all that late, really. The city's still busy outside, even if the sky's getting dark. People can be heard in the laundromat below and out on the street. But they were both woken up pretty early by Manabu's panic attack and Grey figures that Manabu at least should be resting as much as possible.]

I see.

[With a shrug, Grey switches the light off, and begins puttering around the apartment getting ready to wind down for the night properly. Even if he can't sleep he can just read stuff on the phone or tablet while Manabu hopefully snoozes. He'll be taking the sleeping bag tonight, he thinks- he's leery of the possibility that he might lay hands on Manabu in his sleep or something equally disastrous. And his hands are icy, so that would probably make Manabu yelp...]

[the painkillers have the merciful benefit of having a drowsy effect, so once they kick in, they can start to override dick panic and help lead buzzing thoughts down to a hazy mumble and some dubious sleep; Manabu doesn't remember actually falling asleep, just the thought that it'd be nice to hear Grey talk about his reading again.

niceness is abruptly cut off, because a few hours in the fear kicks back in - this time with a bit more of a fight to climb to the waking surface thanks to medicine (more's the reason to panic!). Manabu tosses, turns, thrashes, and ultimately yells himself to a sudden awakening, throwing himself upright with his hands lunging forward to grasp at something - anything - for fear of having to fight back.]

[Grey drifts off to sleep at some point after Manabu does, long enough for him to have gone over both the times tables and periodic table in an effort not to think about his baser feelings towards the man in the nearby bed. Needless to say he's under-prepared for Manabu's nightmare, and it takes until Manabu's thrashing violently enough to make the bed shake for him to even begin rousing.

Something's... shaking?]

Gh-?

[And then Manabu starts yelling, the sound penetrating Grey's sleepy brain like a bolt of lightning. Grey yelps himself, struggling to sit up from within his sleeping bag. What, who, what is?!

Wait. It's Manabu. He must be having another nightmare- Moving mostly on instinct, Grey kicks his way out of the sleeping bag (he's out of it enough to have some confusion about being on the floor and wrapped up in something) and climbs onto the edge of the bed.]

Manabu-

[Please don't hit him in the face with your panicked flailing.]

No-! N--! [there is an errant swing, but his fists aren't clenched, so Grey gets swiped along the jaw by a few fingers before Manabu's turning, nearly toppling out of the bed with the momentum.]

[Grey feels the swipe but it doesn't really hurt- whether that's because it was ineffectual or because Grey's hopped up on adrenaline at the moment will have to be determined later. Either way, he sees Manabu twist, and sway towards the edge of the bed-]

Manabu!

[-and Grey reaches out, wrapping his arm around Manabu and hauling the other man back against his chest. Which might not be the best way of handling a panicking man, but in Grey's defense he was woken up rather suddenly!]

Manabu. Shhh, it's alright, it's me, Grey-

[it's at first the fright of being caught by those goddamn orderlies again that make him resist, but after missing a breath he's jolted awake, forced to gasp and reconcile with the space around him.

it's hard to come down right away, so he's left sweating and trembling in the steadying hold, his eyes darting around wildly looking for threats - needles, restraints, implements, concrete...]

Guh--Gr, Grey-? [wait, really? he didn't...make all of that up? a rescue? blood and corn flakes and the tug at the tail--]

[Grappling with Manabu is nerve-wracking when Grey's afraid he'll hurt himself if he lets him go, but Grey is also afraid of accidentally hurting him in an attempt to restrain him. At least the active resistance doesn't seem to last long- once Manabu's reduced to merely trembling, Grey adjusts his grip on Manabu to something a little more comfortable and continues to do his best to recite soothing words.]

Yes, it's me. I'm here, you're safe. You were just having a nightmare.

[Probably. Not like Grey's 100% sure what's going on, but it's pretty clear there's no actual threat in the room.]

Ri, right... [right. this borrowed room. bed. bathroom. dry cereal. Grey.

Manabu clenches his jaw for a bit to keep his teeth from chattering in the midst of heavier tremors, tilting his head against Grey's chest for further semblance of grounding.

one humiliation after another, huh? is this going to keep happening? for how long? and Grey's going to be putting up with this, is he?]

I'm...sorry. [his throat tightens as frustration threatens to bring him to tears.] Sorry.

It's alright.

[It's not exactly the most eloquent statement but neither of them are probably in a wordy frame of mind. Grey himself is more focused on the way Manabu feels in his arms as opposed to the apologies he's choking out. The weight of Manabu's head leaning against his chest is reassuring, but the way Manabu is shaking is less so.

He presses his arm against Manabu, silently encouraging him to rest more of his weight against Grey, and with his free hand he clumsily seeks out Manabu's so he can give it a (hopefully) reassuring squeeze.]

[it's exhausting to panic after being exhausted from a day of effort and stressful, accidental boners! Manabu sags against him, gulping again as his focus is pivoted to the catching of his hand, his own fingers twitching and fumbling in the confusion before that, too, relaxes. eventually his heart stops hammering quite so loudly that he can start to hear Grey's - something further grounding.

small:] What do I do...if this keeps happening?

[The more Manabu relaxes, the more Grey, in turn, relaxes. Already he's growing tempted to drag Manabu back underneath the covers and to curl up with him for the rest of the night.]

Hm?

[Grey does his best to drag his brain over to the subject of nightmares, and what he knows about them.]

They'll probably stop... or at least, reduce considerably... Eventually?

[Wow, that's utterly unreassuring.]

They tend to come in fits and starts. Personally, if I start losing too much sleep over them, I just take sedatives.

[it takes a while for Manabu to process that fully outside of the terrible notion of more drugs.

eventually:] Wait... You, too?

[he can't say he remembers hearing Grey waking up screaming back on Tabito.]

Mm. Sometimes. As I said, they tend to come in fits and starts. And I don't usually wake up quite as violently.

[Usually. There have been the odd nights where he's probably terrified the hell out of other hotel guests and housekeepers. But as he admits with a grimace:]

It's usually just sweating and gasping. Feeling like I can't breathe.

...

[it's a weird, sad relief to hear something like that. it shouldn't be, but it does make Manabu feel just a little less like a pathetic freak in a way.]

I guess...that's something. I understand.

[as opposed to the matter of being compared to someone he hates.]

[Grey's head droops a little, leaning his cheek against the top of Manabu's head.]

It's unpleasant, isn't it?

[Grey might be a little out of it, but evidently he's not so out of it that he can't make dry little understatements.]

[he mumbles a drowsy affirmative, his eyes closing.

sorry about this. can i just...a little longer...?

the ask is utterly unintelligible in sleepyspeak, but he thinks he makes the ask while more of the panic tension drains and leaves him a weary lump sagging against Grey. hours-ago embarrassments feel so far away as to have been nonexistent, as does whatever shame went along with it. after all, after a scare, it's just nice to feel secure.]

[If his hands weren't already full, Grey would be sorely tempted to stroke Manabu's hair until the other man falls asleep. He almost feels like he could fall asleep himself. Grey's actually already quite comfortable sitting here like this, but he can't remain sitting up without the back of a chair or anything to support him.

So, since Manabu has been reduced to sleepy, indecipherable mumbling, Grey decides it's about time to settle in properly.]

Come on, it's cold out here...

[The next few moments are spent gently dragging Manabu back down onto the mattress and pulling up the sheets where they've been thrown off from Manabu's earlier thrashing. It's a little tricky to finesse while also holding onto Manabu with one arm, but Grey more or less manages.]

Relax. I'm not going anywhere.

[it's nice to not have to think about anything - not worry about being an imposition, about the implications of feeling comforted by another man's arms holding him, about a safe-seeming scent despite the blood and horror that had preceded it. Manabu fidgets only to curl in more certainly against Grey as he's lost to a mercifully dreamless sleep - one he's rested enough from that he doesn't actually wake with a start.

he stirs slow, warm and comfortable, as though he didn't have a lot of urgent matters on his mind. that comes gradually as his ears attune to a breathing rhythm that's not his, making him question and actually take stock of his surroundings.

where...am i? and does he have to move?

most certainly, but not before tilting his head to look and see who he's cuddled up to.]

[There isn't much in Grey's head as he falls asleep either, save for some hope that Manabu will be able to sleep alright, and the reflection that this is probably the coziest he has ever been in his entire life. Manabu is so warm, and the sound of his slow breathing is so soothing...

Grey's still out when morning comes and Manabu begins to stir. He has one arm slung over Manabu's waist, and the other raised and bent so that his hand rests, wrist-side up, just above his head. In the clutches of sleep Grey's expression is more relaxed than usual, lips parted to let out soft breathing, and eyes shut so that his lashes form a pair of purple crescents.]

...

[it's a good thing he didn't have a sudden urge to jump or scream or something - not just for the rude start, but because Manabu's not actually seen Grey look relaxed before. it's a different kind of expression on an often taut, troubled, or sarcastic face that gives Manabu cause to pause and consider it.

with how little (or as much) he knows about him...Grey doesn't have a lot of reason to be relaxed, does he?]

......

[what does he know about him? no birth records, a dead twin he hates, criminal connections...

...he studied medicine, likes to read - can spend a whole day doing that! - isn't big on the sun or bright lights, is keen on the idea of expensive food and fancy clothes...

thinks he's freer being outside of society...

doesn't...have many friends or people who acknowledge him. and that power he has...no wonder he feels alienated.

Manabu feels his chest tighten a bit. he's partly proud that despite the recoil Grey had in getting to know him, he's done so anyway - to the point of sticking his hands into this mess! but part of him is ashamed of that. this isn't Grey's problem to fight.

but...he's glad he's here. glad, but determined to protect him, prove that he can aim for more than just shady living and dodging connections. prove he's not just a stiff - look, he's warm! warm and...

uhh. y'know. comfortable.

Manabu gulps, feeling himself fluster a little when his thoughts move from loftier things. he should probably move, get up...

but that'd probably wake Grey up, and the tension would start all over again.]

...

[Manabu ducks his head again and quietly tries to take stock of himself without getting all heated about it.]

[Manabu will have to suffer in silence for several long minutes more. Grey is slow to rouse- this is probably the best rest he's had in months. No subconscious worries about Manabu's safety to bother his rest, no loud noises or movements to startle him, he's sleeping in an actual bed (kinda) instead of on the floor...

But he doesn't sleep forever. Awareness of his surroundings creeps in, not unpleasantly. Bleary eyes open, slowly coming to a focus on the top of Manabu's head, and the fuzzy dog ears that are there.]

Mmn?

[Manabu?

Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, Grey braces himself against one arm and shifts into a partially upright position.]

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