doggone

[repeatedprayer]

[In the time following his departure from Tabito and Manabu's company, the alias "Grey" has wound up sticking.

Not that everyone calls him that, he's used a few other aliases since then, but it's what he's wound up thinking of himself as. If Grey had taken the time to think about it a bit more he might have picked something with a little less connection to Rezo's name, but it's still leagues better than thinking of himself as "Rez- wait, no, just a copy." And maybe that's why he's felt significantly calmer since he left Sairaag.

By his own standards, Grey has been laudably well-behaved; sure, he's been mostly doing under-the-table psychic work, often on behalf of criminals, but! He's been trying to keep a low profile so it's usually things like clairvoyant spying rather than anything violent, and he's been making a point of not doing anything that directly impacts the galaxy railways.

It would be extremely awkward if Manabu Yuuki had to try and arrest him, after all.

He's found himself frequently thinking about Manabu, much to his annoyance. He has no serious expectations of ever seeing Manabu again, so it's simply a waste of mental bandwidth to find himself wondering what Manabu is doing right now or where he is, or to reminisince over their incredibly brief acquaintanceship. Grey can only suppose that because Manabu was the first reasonably normal person he got to know after leaving Sairaag that Manabu is going to stick out in his mind for a while.

And it's probably because of the real estate that Manabu is hogging in Grey's mind that he's been very aware of every mention of the SDF that crosses his path. He hasn't exactly been tracking the SDF's activities deliberately, but he does pay attention to the news and the SDF frequently winds up in there, even if Manabu's name in particular isn't normally dropped.

Until the day it does.

SDF Officer Taken Hostage By Pirates]

* * *

[It's taken several weeks of investigating, but Grey has been able to track down The Huntress's client, a Dr. Parish and associates. It must be a small galaxy, because Dr. Parish is someone Grey knows. Sort of.

Rather, Dr. Parish was a colleague of Rezo's who collaborated with the man on chimera research (and other unsavory things) in the past. Not only that, the man was an ardent admirer of Rezo's superior psychic prowess, and desperate to improve his own meager abilities.

He'd had quite a shock when Grey approached him in town, but after the initial surprise it had been sickeningly easy to convince Dr. Parish that he was the real Rezo. Grey can only surmise that the man wants to believe too badly to let himself be properly suspicious. It had only taken a day for Grey to be invited to tour Parish's laboratory.

The lab's located on the grounds of a former Marquess's estate, a ways out of town and secluded by trees, a high wall, and a long drive. Grey's done a little recon before, but actually being here is different, especially since he has to navigate by cane at the moment. Grey is doing his best to politely nod and smile as Parish guides him from room to room, explaining their work and occasionally handing him things to examine himself.

But evidently Parish realizes that "Rezo" isn't entirely interested, because he stops partway through an explanation of some stem cell experiments he and a few others have been working on to say "Of course, the really interesting specimens are kept in the basement floor."

Grey already knows this. He hopes his expression seems the right sort of eager.]

Interesting?

["Something along the lines of what we did in the past. Would you like to see them?"]

Nothing would please me more.

[Grey can practically hear Parish's delighted grin. To soothe the surge of irritation, Grey reminds himself that he's going to kill this man before the end of the day and allows Parish to guide him out into the hall and to the basement entrance at the back of the building.]

Comments

[siriusly]

[if the sigh seemed troublesome, Manabu perking up at the notion of a task obliterates any assumption of tiredness.]

I can do it! [he scoots to get up, catching himself before he can just blindly lunge to his feet and give himself a mini-blackout. slow...annoyingly slow!

once he's up, his tail swishes confidently.]

Gimme the box! Let's figure this out.

[what a good montage this will be.]

[repeatedprayer]

[Okay but the enthusiasm is possibly more frightening than the idea of Manabu being tired and Grey startles a little at how Manabu perks up. Why does that face and confident swishing give him such a sense of foreboding?]

...Right. Let's do that.

[Swallowing his misgivings, Grey goes to retrieve the box from the bathroom.

Cue hair dye montage from a coming-of-age movie. Grey makes Manabu read the instructions a few times because he does not trust Manabu "Falls asleep in class" Yuuki not to try and just wing it before they open up the box and assemble the equipment. A few bottles come out, along with a flimsy pair of gloves, a brush, and some written instructions that Grey again makes Manabu read a few times just in case.

The next step is for Grey to change into a shirt he's willing to potentially sacrifice, and pick out a towel that might as well be ruined also. (Grey doesn't bother shooing Manabu out of the room when he changes shirts, so enjoy that, Manabu.)

The bathroom, cramped as it is, is picked out for the makeshift salon, and before too long Grey is squatted on the shower stool, towel wrapped around his shoulders, basin full of hair dye beside him, and Manabu Yuuki there to work his best artistic skills upon Grey's hair.

Willing himself to sit as still as possible, Grey says:]

...Well, I'm ready.

[Kinda.]

[siriusly]

...

[there was nothing weird at all about admiring people's backs before, right? yet now, Manabu feels a little weird catching himself admiring Rezo's bare back from his spot on the bed rather than reading the instructions from the box like he was supposed to.

back on track, Yuuki.

he clears his throat, going back to reading instructions and plucking the plastic gloves out of the box.]

Mix with water, apply evenly, sit thirty minutes, rinse... Seems simple enough. [Well, I'm ready.] Uoh, mn, okay. Just gimme a second!

[more than a second, honestly, but it's not too long before he walks himself into the bathroom, gloved and ready to work.]

The water was a little cold, but it should be okay, right? I'll get started, then...

[repeatedprayer]

[While Manabu sorts himself out, Grey sits, tapping fingers against his knee. He gives Manabu an aside glance when the man finally appears.]

I can handle cold water.

[So he says. But Grey tenses at the first touch of brush and fingers against his hair and scalp, before forcing himself to relax. It's not exactly pleasant or unpleasant, it's just... A lot. He's not in the habit of having other people mess with his hair.

Grey had already dismissed the possibility of doing this at a professional salon under the logic of it being better not to leave witnesses, but now he also realizes that letting a stranger touch him like this would have been intolerable.

He's really glad he asked Manabu to do this instead, even if Manabu doesn't necessarily know what he's doing.

He does his best to stay still and quiet as the cool, wet feeling of the dye mixture soaks into more and more of his hair.]

[siriusly]

[Manabu's not very familiar with the intimacy that grooming brings along anymore; he's always wriggled free of his mother's grasp as a kid when the hairbrush came out, only tied down for special occasions. if put on the spot, he couldn't begin to recall the last time someone else had brushed or washed his hair for him.

...he hopes that didn't happen in that lab.

Manabu murmurs the instructions to himself even while he's doing them, reminding himself to cover every area -] Like putting down a precoat... [-and the further he gets along, the less like hair it looks to him.

once he's gotten to the last of the mixture:] That...should be it. It has to sit for thirty minutes, it says. Then you wash it out. Okay?

[repeatedprayer]

[Grey's own experiences with other people grooming him haven't been great. It wasn't as if Eris- or very rarely and early on, Rezo- had been vicious or anything about it whenever they'd taken care of his needs. But Grey's own growing antipathy towards his creators had made it viscerally unpleasant to have their hands on him, and he'd been very relieved once Eris started leaving more of his own upkeep to himself.

Having Manabu doing this instead leads to an odd internal conflict, where part of him keeps reflecting and comparing it to his own unpleasant memories, but another part of him is simply enjoying the attention and closeness.

Grey zones out a little as Manabu continues working, closing his eyes and fidgeting his hands minutely every now and then. The gentle sound of Manabu's voice is soothing, helping him to relax despite the strangeness of the situation.

When Manabu's finally done Grey has to blink out of his strange internal reverie for a few moments before responding.]

...Okay.

[Grey lifts a hand to try and touch his hair, but thinks better of it before he can actually stain his hands.

He tilts his head, meeting Manabu's eyes with an earnest look.]

Thank you.

[siriusly]

Mn! Of course. I'll leave the stuff out, just in case I missed a spot we can't see right now. [but at this rate, he couldn't tell, so here's hoping didn't accidentally give Grey some kind of skunky streak of non-dyed hair somewhere...

it's tricky to get the gloves off without dripping dye anywhere, but he does an okayish job before heading back out into the rest of the apartment, tail swishing. job well done? maybe? time will tell.]

[repeatedprayer]

[Thirty minutes to kill. Grey digs his phone out of his pocket and sets a timer on it, then gets to his feet to set it on the edge of the sink. Whereupon he promptly gets distracted by his own reflection.

As someone who's not good with faces, one of the things Grey relies on most in order to visually distinguish people from one another is their hair. He's seen his hair wet, weighed down with water and a shade darker than usual, but this is much more dramatic than he's used to. It takes him several long moments to pick out features he recognizes- he looks like a stranger!

Needless to say, Grey spends an embarrassing amount of that waiting time just staring at his reflection, occasionally making faces at himself. He can't tell if it's good or bad, and he knows it's going to look different again when he rinses it out, but- it's still so different!

He is able to tear himself away eventually, but every now and then his gaze goes back to that mirror...

And then, once the timer goes off and Grey has to rinse and wash his hair, he still ends up in front of that mirror afterwards. Needless to say, it's a while before Grey finally emerges from the bathroom to show Manabu the fruits of his labor.]

...What do you think?

[-Agh, that makes it sound like he's fishing for compliments. Grey hastily clarifies:]

That is to say, do you think it looks normal?

[There's still a purple undertone to his hair, but Grey's hair is significantly darker than it was before the dye got added, and a casual observer probably would describe his hair as black now.]

[siriusly]

Hoh-!! [Manabu perks up - ears too.] It’s so dark…is it still wet? C’mere, lemme check it!

[he scoots upright where he’s sat to better inspect.]

[repeatedprayer]

Hm? Alright.

[Grey cautiously approaches the bed and crouches so that Manabu can get a better look. He's toweled his hair off pretty thoroughly so it's no longer dripping, but it's definitely still wet and freshly washed.]

[siriusly]

[it’s a little awkward with Grey facing him, but Manabu committed… he hesitates, then leans in to peer.]

Can I move some? Like this— [he carefully combs a small length from one side to the other to look at what lay beneath.]

Ehhh…I may have done a good job. Did you notice any missed spots?

[repeatedprayer]

[If it helps with the awkwardness any, Grey's eyes do flutter shut when Manabu reaches out to fiddle with his hair.]

Nn. There wasn't anything that I could see- [And he'd spent quite a while looking.] -but it's hard to get a good look at myself.

[Maybe if he says this then Manabu will try to do a more thorough inspection, and Grey will get more pets.]

[siriusly]

[well, that’s excuse enough to get a good look!]

Tilt your head down a little. [and he’ll get a better look, do his due diligence…

seems good to him. a darker shade of purple, almost black - black in the right light. different. kind of like the difference between twilight and nightfall…

his fingers were already gentle, but his rhythm is slower after a point, just getting a bit lost in introspection about it.]

[repeatedprayer]

[Grey obediently tilts his head and lets Manabu comb through his hair, suppressing an occasional shiver at the light touches and tugs. He wonders how Manabu feels about the color. It shouldn't matter as long as it's functional as a disguise, but he hopes Manabu doesn't dislike it...

He gets a little lost himself, absorbed in the intimacy of the moment. Of the slow stroking of Manabu's fingertips. As it goes on though, he does start to wonder what Manabu is thinking, if he's noticed any missed spots, and why he's being quiet.

Grey shifts his head, finally, looking over at Manabu through half-lidded eyes.]

Manabu...

[siriusly]

[the move results in Manabu’s hands framing Grey’s face in a hover, some stray hairs lingering through his fingers.

Manabu looks rather far away, thoughtful and dreamy, blinking slowly before coming back to earth, so to speak.

his face warms.]

It…it looks good.

[repeatedprayer]

[Grey can't stop staring at Manabu, his gaze flicking across every nuance of Manabu's expression. It's an unusual look on Manabu's face, but not a bad one.

Grey's heart is pounding so hard he can barely hear what Manabu is actually saying. When comprehension filters in, Grey's almost too lost in Manabu to care- but not entirely, and a little glow of pleasure lights up inside him at the compliment. He murmurs:]

...Does it?

[Grey leans forward, and. Well.

Impulse, for the moment, wins out over prudence. Grey presses a clumsy kiss against Manabu's lips.]

[siriusly]

[Manabu Yuuki rarely thinks too hard on wanting to do things - he just does what he wants to do. but usually there's a basis for it to work from - the training, the plans and such...

so how would he think to do something like kiss someone if he's never had the basis for it before outside of a nebulous want?

that aside--]

-?!

[what--

what is--

Manabu goes still, his hands hovering in place, fingers just barely twitching as he's seized by the sudden sensation and all the information that barrages him in the instant. it's a temporary at-a-loss for a circumstance where Manabu has had only a smattering of reference to go on, and that reference was hazy and addled with embarrassment and alcohol.

but as always: thought is secondary to action. the hesitation that the bluescreen causes is a few seconds - maybe horrifyingly apparent and easy to misconstrue - but before there can be any proper recoil one way or the other, Manabu presses in to reinstate those feelings. this is what's causing them, right? and that feeling--

it feels right in a confusing kind of way.]

[repeatedprayer]

[While in theory Grey knows what kissing is like, in practice he has never tried it for himself and it probably shows. The press of his lips to Manabu's certainly lacks finesse, a graceless show of affection that borders on childish.

But the rush it gives him, that thrill of yearning and pleasure at being so close to Manabu, feeling Manabu's mouth under his, is entirely real and overwhelming.

Grey doesn't want to stop. Grey wants to keep going, to kiss Manabu further and deeper and do other things that, in his affection-addled state, he can't entirely put a name to. But he doesn't have enough experience to know how to prolong this sort of thing, and he has to stop eventually just to take a breath.]

Ah- Ah...

[With the breath of air comes clarity, the realization of what he's done. I kissed Manabu.

Grey sharply stands up and stumbles back, away from Manabu and the temptation to mindlessly continue.]

...Hell!

[Grey takes another step back, regret starting to filter in properly along with a myriad of thoughts about why that was a horrible mistake. He's an SDF officer. He's a normal person. He froze up when you kissed him (did he kiss you back afterwards?) You're supposed to be protecting him. All true enough, but not helpful now that it's too late to undo what's already been done.

Grey touches his fingertips to his lips and stares down at Manabu, wondering how the hell he's going to explain this.]

[siriusly]

[Manabu startles by how suddenly things shifted - the breaking of that lightning-strike moment to something jarringly cold and untethered. he blinks a few times, eyes big, face flush, his head still tilted down in the same position it had been when they'd...

kissed...

he puts a hand over his hammering heart.]

Whoa... [eloquent, as ever.] That... [was unique.]

[repeatedprayer]

[It's hard to get a good look at his expression from this angle, but Manabu looks... stunned? Well, of course. Grey had just kissed him out of nowhere. But Manabu had just been so close, and he'd been touching Grey so gently and looking at him like... Like...

Grey swallows and finishes Manabu's thought instead.]

That was a mistake. I know.

[Grey turns away, raking an agitated hand through his hair.]

Just forget about it.

[Let's not unpack why he did it and what it means for the two of them, nope!]

[siriusly]

Eh-?

[stomach dropping, his head lifts, big eyes fixing on...well, Grey's back.]

Mistake? Really? [that was a mistake? it was a mistake to feel that?]

[repeatedprayer]

[His shoulders hunch a little at the query. Alright, so maybe he'd wanted to kiss Manabu, but he'd still done it without thinking! It wasn't as if he'd been scheming something, or had bad intentions...]

Yes. You were just- too close. I wasn't thinking.

[siriusly]

...

[too close.

this feels weird.]

A...ah. I'm sorry. [mistake.] I keep...messing up, huh? [that feeling is a mistake? for Grey, at least. maybe not for him. but that's kind of messed up, isn't it?

why would something feel right for one person, but be wrong for another?]

[repeatedprayer]

[Grey feels a genuine pang of physical pain at the remorse in Manabu's words. Making it worse is that he is a little angry with Manabu over it, blaming him for being too close and moreover, too enticing.

As if Manabu would ever deliberately set out to entice Grey.

Grey sighs, still not able to turn around and meet Manabu's gaze.]

We've been very close these past few days, and things have been intense. But this will all come to an end sooner or later, so it's better we don't do anything we'd regret.

[siriusly]

[Manabu's head lowers, feeling nauseous in a way he's not used to. heartsick is reserved for grief and loss, not...whatever's going on here, and yet the feeling is similar.]

I should...regret that, then...huh? [how does he make himself do that? maybe if Grey was suffering; his own suffering is negligible by comparison.

he is suffering, right? he can't even look at him.

damn...

why...?]